I’m not the first to use the phrase ‘you cant please everybody’. But inasmuch as we have heard and read bundles of materials on not trying to please everybody, often times we still try to please many people around because its in the nature of many of us to seek the approval of people especially those close to us. And therefore we try to please people so that they will like us or at least not see us a bad person.
A lot of us spend too much energy and time towards pleasing people, which in itself is not a bad thing, for some it’s just natural for them. It’s not bad to want to make human beings happy after all humans are made for humans. But the negative comes in when you are pleasing others just so that they can say good things about you, you desperately want everyone to say good things about you so you say ‘yes’ to everybody and every request all of the time.
“Learn to say ‘no’! It wouldn’t make you a bad person when you don’t grant the request of every single person. You’re actually hurting yourself by saying yes to everything and everybody.”
I have a friend, a really nice guy and everybody likes him too. He doesn’t know how to say no to anybody. On almost every request made to him, he’ll say ok or yes. And he pushes himself, displeases himself in order to meet up to the commitment he has made. Well, this my friend ended up in jail. Am not kidding now, he actually spent some time in Lagos prison. This happened because, as a result of always saying yes and agreeing to grant every request made to him, he stretched himself thin on every side. He became a debtor and could no longer meet up his responsibility to most of his clients and business partners. This ended up in a police case and eventually jail. This guy was such a polite young man and he didn’t want to hurt anybody by saying no to him or her.
The thing is, you disappoint more people when you say yes to everybody.
By trying to make so many people happy you’ll end up making some others unhappy because you may not be able to meet up everybody’s hope in you.
Young people listen, you don’t have to say yes to every invitation and outing. You don’t have to be on every team or in every group in school or in church. You’re only human, you may not be able to meet up and you’ll disappoint so many other people.
Saying no doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; it only shows that you know your limits as a human being. Yes you’ll hurt some people but you’ll be able to please more people by saying no to some, you’ll also be able to please yourself in certain personal obligations.
This my friend has since been freed and is doing much better with his life now and is now more conservative but he had learned the hard way. In his words, he said while he was in jail, in his interaction with other inmates he learned one hard truth that everybody ought to discover early in life; “the world owes you nothing, you have no claim whatsoever to anything that someone else has.”
Though people look up to you, you must first look after yourself and be in a right place before you can look after others. Its not selfishness, its taking responsibility for yourself first before extending it to others. Saying yes to everyone is not kindness, it is a level of ill discipline. A man who has no control over his own will is like a city without walls.